Category Archives: Insight

A wise woman’s teachings, a PhD student & Me the feminist!

Well, the other week I was reading an article called ” Yes, I am a feminist.  Why arnt you? on Mammamia, all about feminism, and how females today do not really relate to being a feminist, especially younger females.

I read the article and really disagreed with it  & thought I am no feminist.  I then thought of all the reasons why I was not feminist and thoughts of women burning their bras’, strike like actions, some out there things – not that’s not me I thought.  I then thought is feminism a thing of the past??

Definition of Feminism – One persons perspective anyway (thanks the genderblog)

All this changed after 2 conversations and something I saw on TV.

The other day, I was telling my Mum of some changes that I want to make in my life, and a lesson that I had learnt from that.  The lesson that I had learnt, I was telling her was that I was putting all the responsibility of this change onto my husband, and making him responsible.  To that my Mum argued, “Lucia, he has to look after you..but Mum” I said.  I was telling her the lesson I had learnt was that I need to be responsible for the changes that I was making, and not make my husband responsible.  To that she positively responded… “its great that you are independent Lucia…”  I changed the conversation after that.  I did not think about it again… until..

A few days later, I was talking to a International PhD student, who was from Pakistan.  He was telling me about women in his country and how they are married off when they are 16, so their parents do not have to look after any more, and they are looked after by their husbands.  He continued to tell me how these young women, who were now more aware of opportunities for women, were rebelling and not getting married, only to get educations and change their lives.

I was then watching a reality TV show, the Housewives of the OC.   One of the HW, Alexis, went to her husband to ask him if she could take some acting lessons, and he commented that he did not like the idea, because it was her job to look after him and “his” children, and  these extra lessons would take her away from that.  I could see how deflated she was after he told her this… I was so sad for her.

Alexis & her husband – HW of OC (Image care of TV Guide.com)

All these 3 things got me thinking about being a feminist and what it is to be a women.  I could see how far we have come, but still saw how far  women have to go in having the CHOICE to do what they like to do.

You know, I can see the conflict in my Mum’s conversation, one minute she is all about being looked after by someone, and the other minute she is about being independent.  Even though, she had this conflict in her mind, somehow she pathed the way for change with her daughters.  She taught her girls about the opportunities women can have.  She strongly impressed in us the ability to be independent and rely on ourselves in many situations.  She showed us a world, where we now had the choice to be what we wanted rather than what society expected women to be.  She was the feminist who showed us how we can be as women.

I was walking home from the gym the other night, thinking of what she taught us, and I was in tears.  I never realised the impact of what Mum taught us had on my life.  It was truely a-mah-zing.  I only hope that what I teach my girls has such an impact on their lives.

I was only speaking with my Mum this morning, and chatting to her about this exact topic, and asked her what made her teach us about being independent.  She explained that it was her Mum (my Nonna Lucia – whom I am named after) taught her this, after she had to work while our Nonno was not well enough to work.  She did what she had to do to keep her family going, and in turn this changed the women in our family forever.  WOW.  I am so proud of Nonna, and what she has passed down to the generation of women.  She was a feminist in so many ways.  Doing what she had to do, and not worrying about what society said about what women should be doing! In her times, it would have taken lots of courage to do so!

So, after these conversations  I have to say that I am a feminist.   While it still feels a little weird to call my self a feminist, I am one, in my own way.   You know, without all that women who came before us and fought for women’s rights to be considered equal,  I would still be considered, well I am unsure what the word is, as I do not want to offend anyone out there, but I think I have to say “inferior”

Today, as a woman I have the CHOICE to be what I want.  I think that all that feminist stuff that occurred a long time ago, really comes down to giving women the CHOICE of doing what they want to do, rather than being told what you will do.  That’s my definition of feminism – having the choice!

So, what are your thoughts about feminism?  What does feminism mean to you?  Are you a feminist?  What impact has your Mum had on who you as a women?  Is feminism something of the past.

Til next time

 

 

Where you been? what you been doing? What’s Happening??

First of all, I must thank Aiden from SATC for my title… Do any of you remember that scene from SATC, where Carie was getting a little annoyed after Aiden moved in?  Ok, so I am a little obsessed with SATC (its my thing), and its re-runs, even my 4 year old watches it with me.

So, where have I been?  What have I been doing and what’s happening in my life… Well, I can tell you all that I was a little scared off blogging after some comments got back to some people I love, and I was a little upset that those people had to deal with what I had wrote in my post.  It really upset me, and I did not want those people close to me to have to bear that, so thought it would be best to stop writing.

I did have intentions of returning on the 1st July after coming to terms with what was said, but procrastinated because it is challenging writing this blog, especially dealing with people’s feedback and the aftermath of my posts – being me.  I was inspired by 2 people  and some other things happening in my life that I decided to get back on the horse so to speak!

Firstly, the most amazing & inspiring person in my life – my husband Shane.  We were talking about goals and rewards earlier this week, and I had to take an action to write down something like 50 rewards that I would like as part of some coaching.  I replied to him, and said, why do I need rewards, I just get what I want when I want it, whatever it is (minus buying clothes).  Afterwards I got thinking, I really do not push myself enought to feel like I need to reward myself.

My life is pretty easy.  I have a wonderful family life – our girls are fantastic, I enjoy my work (at the moment anyway) and I get to do things that I want to.. You know,  I am what you call “cruising” through my life..  which is ok,  I suppose, but I want to be challenged (I think), test my boundaries, have goals, achieve them – REWARD MYSELF – uh, light bulb moment!!.  I can so see how I have avoided challenging myself because it is much easier to just cruise through life, but it goes without saying that there is a lack of fulfillment that I get on a regular basis.  It then dawned on me that I need to start challenging myself, you know accelerate my life, be the most awesome Lucia, and all those other inspiring things.

So, the second inspiration comes from another blogger, who I can not remember, she was a girl from the USA, who posts about dressing for less, sort of Who, what, wear, website with out all the pizzazz.  Well, she is now a full time blogger and had some tips for bloggers, and one of the tips resonated with me.. Have a tough skin.  Is that the phrase?  hmm, I am pretty sure that’s it.   I have been a little “scared” off by people’s comments, etc.  about the blog. So, I thought if this girl can do it, so can I

And with those 2 inspirations, here I am, back – I am not my clothes…and all you people out there.. this is just a way for me express myself, with a hint of fashion, and of course I forgot how I paid of my credit card.   Please if you have any comments, anything,  I encourage you to share them – I am not that scarey – raah!!!!(as my younger sister would say)

So, with that I will close my first returned post, over the coming weeks, I will share what I have been up to.. how my credit card debt it going, and of course share with you my other, other love… FASHION… I AM SO EXCITED…

Its good to be back!

PS – Here I am dining out with my husband earlier in June.. The anti-pasto was YUM!!!

Lucia Hiscock

I am back!!

Til next time, Be Good!

Back off lady, a baby & my bangle

So, I must first of all share with you that as a family we have reduced the number of cars that we have down to one, which means that I regularly catch public transport to and from my day job.  And this is where the story starts.

I was like many people on Monday afternoon, waiting for our train to arrive to take us home.  Our train pulls into the station, and we all crumped together to find our seat.  I noticed there is a lady with her toddler sitting in the corner, and went and sat next to her.  If I were not a Mum, like most people I would have avoided the seat.

I was happy to talk to this lady.  I started asking her questions about her Baby boy.  He was the same age and my youngest, and he was walking.  Sorry, I can not recall his name.

During our conversation, I mentioned that I did have a daughter, who was the same age.  The lady then asked is she at home?  I said no she is at day care.  You could tell from what I was wearing that I was coming home from work.

How could you have her at daycare? (sigh!)  Don’t you miss her? and right there I paused, I had to think about it.  I replied of course I did, but at that moment I felt that I was being judged for working while my daughters both of them were at daycare.  I then felt I had to justify myself, by saying that they are ONLY at daycare 4 days a week, and my husband looks after them on Tuesdays.

We continued on our journey home, and we chatted about children, toddlers, how she found it difficult getting around the city with a pram.  I felt like saying I have no trouble at all, you just need to know where all the elevators are, as well as the baby change rooms.  But I told my EGO to settle down, and I just agreed with her.  Her son was interested in my bangle which I gave him to play with.  I knew it would occupy him for a little longer while we traveled.  My ego also thought of saying “your Daddy would not like you playing with that, would he” but I also refrained from saying something.  My ego can be nasty, hey.

Anyway, I offered to help her off the train, because I know how difficult it can be.  She was ok, as she had a friend with her.

It really got me thinking.  You know you read all these magazines, blogs, articles about how women are, I don’t really like to use this word “bitchie” but it is the only word I could think of.  Maybe it is a bit harsh, and I should use “judgemental” instead.  This was the first time in 4 years that I felt that I was being judged for my choice to work while my girls were in care?  Was I being a “good” Mum?  I really felt what it was like to be one of those women, you know like its a competition – Stay at home Mum VS Working Mum.

Working mum Vs Stay at Home Mum (c/- parentdish.co.uk)

I do not understand why women do it?  It baffles Me.  Why do we need to make ourselves feel better about the choices we make.  Whether it be that you work full-time, study part-time, work as a pole dancer,  climb the corporate ladder, decide to be a artist, earn lots of money, or just enough to get you by.  What ever you do, why is there that competition, especially between Mums.

I can only admire Mums who stay at home with their child or children.  It is the most challenging job in the world – so they say.  I keep up with young children, keeping them feed, entertained mostly, is a great challenge especially with the limited attention span.  I give bigger admiration for single parents who look after their children, I would not know what I would do without the support of my husband.

I can tell you from experience being a working Mum is a challenge as well.  Not only do you have to get ready for work, you have to get your children ready for care, make sure they are fed, stay clean, and bags ready every morning.  I am really lucky that my workplace has fantastic flexibility, and my direct manager is a Mum herself, so there is also a level of understanding.  Then to get home after a day’s work, dealing with some interesting people, now I say that nicely.  Pick up my girls, feed them bath them, get one to bed, colour in for another hour, read to my daughter, and then thats right, feed the dogs.  It is now 9:30, I would love to do some other things, but I am pooped, so hop into bed, only to start all over again tomorrow.

I love being a working Mum.  I love being with my girls.  In no circumstance, do I feel that I have missed any part of their life.  I have had so many joyful moments with them since thy were born.  Just like on the weekend, watching them have a ball at our local pool – priceless.  We do rely on the support of our local day care centre, as we would not be able to do what we do without their loving care for our daughters. They do a wonderful job of looking after our girls during the day.  I know that both me and my husband are grateful for their work.  thanks girls..

I think that as humans, Mum’s we are doing the best we can with what we got.  There is no “Perfect” way look after your child, as long as they feel that they are loved and care for, and they feel important to you. That is all that matters full-stop.  There is not need for women to be so judgmental of each other.

So, I am not sure why this nice lady said what she said, in her manner.  She could be wishing that she could be working, or she had a hard day with her Son in the city, or was dreading her night head or whatever, I am not sure, but I am sorry that she said what she said the way she did.

On a final note, “WOMEN, please just accept yourself for who you are, and more so accept others for who they are”.  I think women would be more appreciative of each other if they came from a place of acceptance..

Good Night.. & Be Good

Lucia

No Cash, My Mum & still trying to plez? Maybe not after this…

So, we (my husband and I) have been faced with a temporary cash flow blimp over the past few weeks.  My husband is building a new business, and while he is doing this, I am working to support the growth of the business and our family.

We hit a point the other week where we were literally left cashless, and at that point I spoke to my parents and asked if they would kindly provide some support to help us get through, until we finalised the sale of an investment property.   My parents agreed, as I was a little upset (crying on the phone to my Mum) of the prospect of having no money.

My awesome parents @ my Wedding 2006.

My Mum then went into Mother mode, and started to tell me that my husband needed to get a job, and he needed to support the family, you know all that usual motherly advice.  Now, I am a little slow off the mark with responding to people’s comments, even my Mum’s.  You know she is my Mum, you listen to them, and what they say.  I did listen to what she said, and went back to my husband and we set a stop dead date of when he needed to start looking for a income paying job or something.

I had 2 sets of conversations with 2 of the people that I love most in my life.  In classic Luchi style, I was caught up in my idea of “keeping people happy” and it was initially a big challenge to have 2 of the people you love most, telling you what is best to do…  OMG – I was torn, I had no idea what to do.  I was not really stressed about the money, more about which way to go

I instantly thought to myself, do I keep my mother happy, and keep in line her ideal’s of life, and that the best thing is to have a job, pay off you mortgage and just be a regular every day person.

Now, my mother’s ideal of life is to have a job.  All because she was not able to work full time, as she had 5 children to look after, and she also had other things happening which meant she could not work.  I know from past conversations with her, it was her dream to hold down a job, but it just was not possible.  So, her dream for me and my husband is just to have a job.  So, my husband not having a regular job, well, it does not fit into her ideal’s of a life, and you know she is older than me, and knows about life, so she likes to tell me  :).  “Lucia, that is all there is in life, you get a job, work and pay off your mortgage”

On the other my  husband is working to build a future for us and our 2 beautiful girls.  He is working his butt off, so that we can have a future with financial freedom.  As much as he has agreed with our drop dead date of getting a regular job, he is determined to create a business that provides an income for his family.   He is against getting a job again, because one he does not envisage working for someone else and could not bear to think about it, after working for a large corporate for many years.

We have been working for 2.5 years at building this business, and we do not want to give up and give in, when we have come so far.  We are building our dream, a dream that inspires us to be bigger people. Live life, you know that stuff that makes you get all nervous…

So, here I am, feeling torn between 2 lovers… is that a song?.. hmm, not sure.  But, the point I am getting to it has been a real challenge for me, as I have this MASSIVE story of keeping my Mum happy.  Even talking to my husband today, about “what if” we get to the end of the time when he said he would commit, and something does not happen and I have to tell my Mum… Yeshhh… just thinking about it gives me a head ache, I get all hot and sweatty… it is not a feeling that I like.

Then my memory brought back this situation, when I was way younger, well not too young, lets so 20.   It was my first serious boyfriend, and I told my Mum, that I was staying the night at his place.  Man, did she go mental, calling me some not so nice words.. she got rather upset with me.  I stood my ground and told her I was staying there.  What she said rather upset me, big time and I suppose I am putting the past in my future even today.  Thinking that if I upset my Mum, she will be really upset with me, maybe even nasty, and may hurt me again by what she may say.  It funny is it that your mind can recall situations for long ago.   I suppose thinking about it now, I was brought up in a “Italian culture: in good old Kingsgrove, Sydney, and led a pretty sheltered life.   Mum obviously was trying to protect me from the big bad world of boyfriends, maybe she did not know what to do, I am not sure, maybe that is a conversation to have next with her.

Anyway, now that I have cleared that up in my head.  I feel a lot better.  I have to have some balls, and be the best “Lucia” there is.  I may not please everyone, esp my Mum, at times, but this is the life that I want to live.   I want to dream big, do things that I never thought I could possibly achieve, like having an awesome husband, and 2 beautiful girls – well, I have achieved that!.  Dreaming of living in NYC, being creative, writing for a living, having my own fashion lifestlye brand, that is internationally recognized – now that is big!  Learning to play the piano, taking photos of dead trees (Shane always laughs at that). Teaching my daughters about life, and seeing them experience life.  They are just some of the things that inspire me.  Did I forget to mention working as a team to build my husbands business, sorry babe…:)

I always remember this saying from a girl at high school.  She died of a rare lung condition when we were in Year 12.  The front of her booklet at her funeral read “Reach for your Dreams”, and that is what I want to do, and nothing is going to stop me…

Anyway, on another note, I spoke to my Mum the following day, and let her know that I did not appreciate that she was so negative, and that Shane and I are building our dream, and we are going to get it.  I stood up for myself, to my Mum.. Wow – I do surprise myself sometimes… She accepted what I had to say, and then went on with some issues she was facing.  We said goodbye and that was the end of the conversation, so I thought.

The next day, she called me and said, Lucia I just want to apologize for being a “wet blanket yesterday”.  She went onto to explain that she was facing her own things yesterday, and that was giving her stress, and that was why she was a little negative with me.  I accepted her apology and listened to what was causing her stress the day before.  We spoke about it, and a few days later, her stress was gone as the situation was all sorted.

So, my lesson from this is you really have to be comfortable with who you are in life, there has to be a deep comfort.  A deepness to who you are and where you are going on your life journey.   You must express yourself for who you are.  You know, be a “portal” for the awesomeness of “you” to  shine through.  thanks Eckhart for your lovely word.

This is my second lesson of not taking things personally, even by your Mum.  Things happen in peoples lives, that make them see things in their way, in what they think is the right way.  I saw this saying, “there is no right way, only what is right for you.”.  I really love this.

I have learnt that you have to have balls and be strong for what you believe in, and not to let anyone let you waiver from that.  I have to accept that I may not always keep people happy, and that is ok.  I have to make sure that I am happy.  This is a BIG  lesson for me, as I have spent a lot of my life believing that if you keep people happy you will be happy, and I truely believe this is SO wrong..  let me tell you, that I know this one thing for sure.

So, my questions for you today is, do you try to keep your family happy, whether it is going to Uni, having the job, they expect you to have, marry the person you think you should marry?  Why is it that we put other people’s happiness before ours??

Anyway, til next time… Be Good!!!

How dare she ignore me! Am I just as guilty???

So, I had a very quiet weekend just gone, got the opportunity to look after my 2 daughters the whole weekend while my husband was out on some education with “speaker man Shaune”, and my youngest turned “1”.

Seeing that we are now managing with 1 car, we had to drop of Shane before going to ballet.  My daughter Olivia attends classes every Saturday morning.  Liv Loves Ballet.  We arrive, Miss Jo, collects our Tiny Tots, and April and I keep ourselves amused while Liv is off dancing.   Over the past year, I have got to become acquainted with some of the parents.

All went well with the class, Olivia came out with her sticker, and was very happy.  We decided that we would stop off at the local shops and get some bread, ham & stop off for a cappuccino.

We arrived at the coffee shop, and we were all having our drinks, when I noticed one of the Mum’s from ballet walk into the coffee shop.  She placed her order, and was waiting for it.  Now, I am sure that she noticed me while I was sitting there with my girls, but she looked away…  Now, I walked past her 2 more times and still no smile or hello.  I looked at her, but for some reason I must of drawn a blank with her. I did not understand, why didn’t she say hello or smile??

Did she see me?  Was she ignoring me?  Why was she ignoring me?  It got me thinking why are human’s scared of each other???

Later that afternoon I was speaking to my Mum about it, and she just calmly said maybe she didn’t see you Lucia.   How could she have not seen me, Mum? I replied.  I walked past her twice, and we were not exactly the quietest family in the small coffee shop.  It is ok, Lucia, my Mum replied.   She later rang back to see if I was ok with it all (I must of seemed upset for her to call back), and she told me that it is ok, if she didn’t say hello, maybe she just had something else on her mind.  Then my Mum said something that she seldoms says to me. “Lucia, you know that I  love you”.  Thanks Mum!  That seemed to make me feel better.   Anyway, back to my story.

After my conversation with my Mum, I thought back to a situation earlier  in the week, and a similar experience popped into my mind.

I was on the bus on my way to work, the bus arrives at the bus stop and I notice a work acquaintance waiting at the bus stop.  Now, I  pretended that I did not see this person.  I was SO involved with my audio book, that I did not even acknowledge him – pretty sad hey.  After the bus left, I started thinking should I have waved? would he have seen me?  How bad is it that I did not smile, no, I just ignored this person. Would I say something next time I saw him?  So, what stopped me from acknowledging him and why don’t people acknowledge each other.

I think it could be fear.  Fear of looking like a git if you wave at someone and they do not acknowledge you.  Fear that people will see you acknowledging someone and them not seeing you.  You, know it is like when you wave at someone and they do not see you, and half way thru the wave you quickly bring your hand back down, sort of to say I was not really waving at you.  Lol – I have had many of those experiences.  It is as though you feel embarrassed for waving.  How funny is that!  Crazy hey..

Now back to the Ballet Mum who apparently did not see me or my girls, whom she sees every week. I think she is more of a case of genuinely not seeing me.  She is was there with her son, and seemed keen on getting her coffee.  Maybe she was having a stressful day, or thinking about getting back to her daughters one time, all the while thinking what she needs to get ready for dinner.

After this post, I know that I will communicate with other humans, even if it is just a smile or a wave or a conversation.  We are all part of the same thing, on this fantastic universe.

So, my question for you all today is, Do you see people that you know or are acquainted, whom you ignore or too scared to say hello, smile or even wave?  Come on everyone lets be honest with yourself.  or is it just me who does this??

Til next time…. Be Good!!

Lucia

Bullied? victimised? or empowered?

So, some of you may have noticed that I have not been writing as many posts of late, and of those posts that I have written maybe they have not been that interesting, actually quite boring, if I do say so myself.

I do have something to confess, and No, I have not made a purchase, rather been a little afraid of being who I am in writing these posts.

Let me explain.  After posting Making Space for the New, a Baby Shower & Birthday,  I received a SMS from a friend, who wanted to know what I meant by the post, and this person wrote that she was really upset that I could talk about friends and relationships like that.  She wanted to talk about it.  Uh, man, what have I done were my first thoughts.  I was a little apprehensive to make the call, as it is usually a little hard for me to stand up for what I believe, and 2 be confrontational, well that is what I thought I had to be.

So, anyway, I made the call and had the conversation with my friend about the blog and explained that this is how I felt.   I can not recall the conversation now, only to say that at the time I can only remember feeling empowered and being able to express my true self.  We ended the call on a normal note.  I felt really good about how I was able to stand up for what I believed in.

So, unaware of the impact of this conversation, I continued with my daily life, and writing my blogs.  I noticed that the people reading my posts were dwindling, and wondered what was happening.

I had to reflect on all of this (ok – I know “reflect” might sound a little J, but I like to use it instead of “thinking”).  I realised that since “that” post, I have been procrastinating big time, finding it difficult to write, and just not being motivated to write about my life.

The word “bullied” crossed my mind one day, and I thought how could I have let someone, make me feel that bad about what I wrote and feel that  “I am not good enough”, that I could not continue writing this blog?  Uh, then the next day  the word victim came to mind… am I playing a victim in this situation, poor Lucia is always treated so badly by her friends.  boo hoo…  I am actually laughing as i write this.  Why you ask?

Well, I have let these 2 phrases run my life for a long time.  Stories of not “being good enough”, and trying so HARD, I mean so hard to make people happy, even when I knew that it was truly making me unhappy.   You know, everyone one around me, family, friends, work, relationships.   Feeling a victim to myself, because I let myself down so many times, by not being who I am and who I knew to be deep down inside Lucia.  Not being who I am, has kept me unhappy.  Well, Not any more…

It was like in that conversation with this person, for about 2 minutes I was empowered ( I really can not explain how I felt).  It was a inner strength that I seldom experience.  It was like the giant of Lucia came out – roar!, for a few minutes and then it went straight back inside me.  I now realise that I was really scared to be who I was because it upset a friend.   And I much rather keep people happy than keep myself happy.   Hmm, I must say that this really does not work for me anymore, I am sorta over keeping people happy.  I want to keep me happy and feel awesome all the time.  I want to write this blog and explore what it is to be a human being, rather than a human doing.

I took what this person had to say personally.

I remember this one thing (of the many things) from a book that a lovely lady gave me about a year ago.  The book is called the 4 Agreements( a must read), and one of the agreements is “never take anything personally”.  Why cant you take anything personally?

Because everyone has a different perception of life, based on their life experiences, and everyone has a different life experience, and the stories that they have created from these experiences.  For eg, If you take 5 people all seeing the same accident happen, each of those 5 people will provide you with a different story of how it happen.   What they saw happen was their reality of the car accident, and they will create stories as to why it happened.  It has nothing to do with what actually happened. Car A hit Car B.

So, I took what this person had to say personally because deep down I did not feel that I was good enough and I would upset someone if I truly said how I felt about things.  Of course, what she had to say supported my deep thoughts of not being good enough, yada, yada, yada,  just that it took a bit of time to seep into my psyche.  All these funny little thoughts led to my procrastination, not coming up with ideas, feeling unmotivated…. Light Bulb!!  A-ha moment…. WOW!!!

So, maybe the lesson in all of this is, I can be who I want to be, (boy did it feel good), and not to take peoples comments, opinions, etc personally because it is all based on THEIR reality at the time and has nothing to do with me.   Maybe this friend was having a bad day, or she just heard something, who knows, what was going thru her head at that point that we had the conversation .  I can not be responsible for her thoughts and feelings.  I let her feelings get to me based on the stories in my head… and I must let go of that. I have let go of it… WOOHOO!!!

I can only be responsible for me, and my world!  I am creating the possibility of being LUCIA more often, and living a life where I am confident to be the best me. I feel empowered!

BTW – I actually put the new Lucia to the test just this past weekend at another baby shower, and you know that it felt fricken awesome to be the person I want to be, and talking to people and being present and enjoying the event.

So, have you ever reflected on a situation/ event and it taught you something about your true self… Have you ever had thoughts of “not being good enough?”  Do you find it hard not to take peoples comments, opinions personally??

Please feel free to share with me today….It may take some guts, but I know you all out there are awesome people, so go for it….

PS- I make this commitment to all of you out there to be open and honest with blog posts and to have a blast writing them!

Have an awesome weekend

Til next time…. be good!!!

I FEEL EMPOWERED!!!!

Making Space for the New, A Baby Shower & Birthday

So, over the weekend, I had 2 events to attend –  A 2nd child Baby Shower of a friend down on the Gold Coast, and my sister-in-laws birthday.  I did not purchase anything new, but the pants that you see me wearing were purchased just before I set myself this goal.

My beautiful daughter Olivia insisted on being part of the photo, and I could not resist.  So, the pants I wore, were from a boutique in the Valley called Drobe.  The top is a basic from my friends at Supre.  You can get so many colours.  My shoes are from ASOS that I bought 2 seasons ago.  The necklaces are from one of the accessory retailers here in Australia, think it was Adorne.  I have my usual rack of bracelets and my Swatch from NY

Olivia & I

Once I arrived at the restaurant, I sat down with my girlfriends and we enjoyed lunch together (although I was not too impressed with the food or the price, but that’s another story).  I sat there and listened to the various stories that we all told about having children, our experiences both funny and not so funny.  We then moved to a place down stairs where my girlfriends continued their conversation with a bottle of sparkling wine.

I had to leave early to attend my sister-in-laws birthday dinner(by the way I wore the same thing.. how convenient!).   On my drive back to Brissie,  for some reason I started to reflect on the relationships I have with my girlfriends.  This is something I have been considering in the back of my mind for a little while and for some reason I was really reflecting on it today, and I wondered “Are friendships like cleaning your wardrobes”??

You know, on a regular basis you decide that you need more room in your wardrobe, so you get everything out, put it in a couple of piles, and make some decisions on them.  Could this be the same with friends?  You know there are the following piles:

CLOTHES THAT YOU KEEP – These are like the friends that grow with you,  or maybe these are your family.  They are your go to, you know that dress that always fits perfectly, and you feel like a star!  You can not speak for ages, but when you do, there is always that connection.

CLOTHES THAT NEED FIXING BUT STILL WEARABLE – These are friends that you have kept at the back of your closet, maybe not been in touch with for a while, and just need some dusting off or calling to re-connect.

CLOTHES FOR RECYCLING – These are the friends that, although you can see the holes, or that they do not fit all that well anymore, you keep anyway.  You have not worn them for ages.   It can be hard to give these clothes away, because they do come with fond memories, and maybe that is why you are holding onto them, but deep down you know they no longer fit in your wardrobe collection, and it is time to move on.

Now, the awesome and wonderful thing about making space in your wardrobe, is the opportunity to purchase new things (not that I will be doing that in 12′)  Just like your wardrobe, maybe making room for the new gives you the opportunity to meet new people in your life, and discover new styles that you never even noticed before.

This has left me something to consider,  what friendships do I have that I need  to let go? Or maybe there are some pieces of clothing that I need to pull out from the back of my wardrobe and start wearing them again, and the most exciting of them is finding new friendships that I never saw before.

Have you ever considered your friends in this way?  Have you ever sat down and questioned who your friends are for you?

How does it feel when you clean out your wardrobe?  Do you think you would get that same sense of “space” if you did this with your friends??  Am I being a little harsh?

I am really interested in hearing your thoughts on this one today?

Be good…

Lucia